just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
