So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
