yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
