I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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