So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
