I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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