Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
