I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
