soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
