i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
