Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
