There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize