3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
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