Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
