Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
