The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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