It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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