White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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