You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
