I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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