i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize