he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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