So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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