I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
