I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
