There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
false alarm, still single
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