love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
