i think my mom watched the whole time
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
