But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
