just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
