Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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