man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
