ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
