is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
