Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize