Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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