And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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