Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she told me i tasted like america
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
