I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize