i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
