do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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