She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
