We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
