After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
