i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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