Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize