I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
