Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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