hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
As shirtless as possible
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
