i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just pee around me
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
