Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
