dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
