how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
