I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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