Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Your penis caused this!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
