i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
no, he came in my armpit
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
