i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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