i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
