...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
