I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
