I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
