I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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