I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
