you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
