so explain again why im purple
no
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
