ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
