youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
