when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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