I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
