is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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